Who am I as a Communicator: Evaulations

As I reflect on this week’s communication evaluation exercise, I was extremely intrigued by the own results in comparison to others who were in my relational network. I never realized that although I may deem myself a competent communicator, others may not share my views and their perceptions of my communication abilities can have a totally different evaluation through our interpersonal interactions.

There were many similarities and variances between the results, between the two evaluations. For example, on the communication anxiety inventory I scored a moderate level, which reflected that I do have some communication anxiety depending on the situation. I regard that being nervous is actually a normal thing given certain situations some people excel in some circumstances more than others, to me that is a characteristic that a competent communicator should have. "Competent communication is about figuring out the most effective and appropriate ways of interacting in given situation." (O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. 2012 p.117). In contrast my colleague, scored a low level showing that I was comfortable and confident in interactions and encounters. In discussion about these results she revealed that it is her perception that come off confident, calm, cool, and collected when interacting in a group work environment. I was surprised to find that many of my husband’s perceptions of me to be quite accurate, at times we tend to butt heads when comes to communicating effectively, but we do share a very intimate communication relationship. For example on the listening style profile both of us scored in group 1, referencing that my style is empathetic and people orientated. I think this is very true to my personality and is displayed throughout my personal and professional life. "When we engage in empathetic listening we are attempting to know how another person feels; it involves listening to people with openness, sensitivity, and caring." (O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. 2012 p.163).

This week I gained the true insight of other's perceptions of me in terms of communication, and I realized that many of my own insecurities in public speaking for example, are perceived by others in a completely different fashion.

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (2009). Communication research measures: Communication Anxiety Inventory & Verbal Aggressiveness Scale. A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: Listening Styles Profile a sourcebook. New York: Routledge

 

 

 

Communication Differences

Upon first reading this assignment I thought that I communicated in a general manner with everyone, but upon closer examination I realized that I in fact do communicate differently with different groups in terms of language, situational context, professional/family relationship ,and even culture. A great example of this would be when I communicate and interact with family members or even people from the same ethnicity as me. I tend to use more slang, and vocabulary from our country, along with references to things that are relevant to our culture. On a professional level, I most definitely use high lanague, in order to communicate in a more formal way.

3 Ways to Communicate More Effectivley with Identified Groups

1) Try to decipher and be mindful of other's verbal and non verbal communication code that may cause barriers like culture, language, and even gestures. Appropriate knowledge must be obtained.
2) Do not assume similarities within the same cultural groups. Be mindful that cultural differences and variations occur even from people that may share the same social group or class as you.
3) Develop social decentering, in order to better cognitively, individuals perceptions and thoughts even if they share a commonality with you.

References
Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

 

Communication Exersise

The show I decided to observe is a television sitcom that was popular in the 90’s called “Married with Children”. As I observed the show without sound I gathered that the relationships between the characters were close and intimate, conversations between the family members were in close proximity to each other and also consisted of non-verbal communication like touching. In one scene the man and his wife were in bed together and she gave him a hug, although he did not look like he reciprocated it, I gathered that she was very much in love by the love-intimacy touch she gave him.  I also gathered that they were in some type of argument by their facial expressions, exhibiting looks of anger and sadness.

Upon turning the sound on, my assumptions were correct regarding the family structure, and the tension that was between the husband and wife. The plot was far more humorous then I had anticipated and I gather that if I would have been more accurate regarding the mood of the show if had been more familiar with it.

I learned that the observation of non-verbal communication can often be misinterpreted due to influences from different cultures, situations, and even perspectives. Additionally, I had also never considered the non-verbal messages that body language and proximity to other communication partners plays in the delivering communication messages. I found the zones of personal space to be extremely intriguing, as everyone’s idea on what is acceptable in terms of: intimate, personal, social, and public zones are completely different and vary from person to person.   This made me think of the time when I went to Montréal to visit distant family and instead of hugs they give a very European greeting of kissing each side of your cheek. It made me realize that what is normal for some in forms of communication like even a simple hello, can be completely weird and uncomfortable for others.

Competent Communication

One person comes to mind when I think of  competent communication and that particular communicator is my husband. My husband works as a district loss prevention manager for a major retailer and on a daily basis interacts with many different people with different backgrounds and in a variety of  situations. On one hand he intergragates people who have been caught stealing in an intimate, vulnerable one on one interviews. He showcases impressive interpersonal skills that allow him to be able to extremely personable, charismatic, and empathetic in his approach allowing him to acquire a confession from the assailant in most instances. Another aspect of his job is to train groups of new employees in large groups introducing them to the rules, and regulations of the company, this communication delivery is quite different from an interrogation situation, he is able to articulate his points and engage the large group. This also includes imploring many effective communication skills like making eye contact, gestures, and having confidence in his delivery.
I would love to be able to model his communication behaviors, as his tactics truly encompass the best strategies towards being a good listener, delivering his point of view clearly, and making the recipient feel comfortable and at ease.

* Just a quick side note on my awesome husband, but his communication skills were one of the reasons I fell in love with him as we talked the first night I met him for hours and hours on end with the conversation flowing easily and effortlessly, which continues to this day. :)